klaine + being cockblocked
I’ve been waiting for this to come across my dash again (or at least a variant of it.) The interesting thing about the comparison of these two scenes is that the first time Blaine’s insecurities come up, Kurt reassures him and then smiles like he’s fixed everything. Like it was one small hiccup, and now everything’s going to be okay. But now, with these same insecurities coming up over and over again, with Blaine so convinced that Kurt’s going to jump ship the moment something better comes along, Kurt’s not smiling anymore. He knows it isn’t over. I don’t think he quite knows what to do about it yet, but he’s aware that this is a bigger problem than he could’ve ever believed at first, and hopefully he’s going to try to figure out a way to help and support Blaine.
(Sidenote: I’ve seen a lot of stuff on my dash about what Kurt is doing and what Blaine is doing and is Kurt doing things right to make Blaine feel secure and is Blaine doing things right to try to understand how Kurt feels about him and are they doing enough to make themselves work and… It feels like blame, a lot of it, and I’m having a hard time with that because first off: Kurt’s awkwardness with his feelings isn’t any more Blaine’s fault than Blaine’s insecurity is Kurt’s, and second, it presupposes that if they do the right things, that they can fix each other, that Kurt can emote right — whatever that is — and that Blaine can be totally secure forever, and that’s not how these things work! I mean, did we learn nothing from Will and Emma? They are always going to have these problems. They can learn to recognize what their individual problems are, work past their innate defensiveness about those problems and be open — “I’m doing the thing again, you’ll have to be patient with me” — and try to work past the bad moments/weeks/years together, but that takes a fucking lifetime to learn, and they’re both barely twenty.
(And, you know, it’s not enough for Kurt to learn what Blaine’s issues are and for Blaine to learn Kurt’s. Kurt has to learn Kurt’s issues, and Blaine has to learn Blaine’s, or there’s no solution. Kurt could figure out exactly what Blaine’s core wounds are tomorrow, and if he came at Blaine with them, to try to be helpful, it would feel like an attack to Blaine. They have to learn to recognize their own patterns first.
(This post wasn’t meant to go to this place, but I’m just really fucking frustrated that traits that have been part of the characters all along, things that are well-established as predating their relationship and having roots in dozens of other incidents — as well as, probably, a biological basis — are being reduced down to what feels like, to me, a contest as to who is boyfriending better. Because that’s not what this is about! It’s so much more complicated, and it will take so much longer to work through, and that’s why it fucking matters.)
I’m not having emotions over a building, no…
NOPE NOPE NOPE NONONONOOONNONO
I’m not crying
Okay, but I am!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
What better way to say “sorry for bringing bedbugs into the house”, than by pre-planning the design of a much-needed loft workspace.
I can’t stand seeing such a prime piece of the floor plan go to waste. As much as Kurt is feeling anxiety about being crowded, I’m still feeling as if I’m living in someone else’s home. If I’m gonna be here for while, then just like Pippin, I’m gonna find my very own corner of the sky.